Kodoku no Angel

(The Angel of Loneliness)

By Charles Drake

Dream 4, Overture of the Angels

These hands... these hands of flesh... what were they born for? What were they created to do, to be? Do these hands have a destiny? Can these hands change my destiny?

Alita spun through the air, the Damascus blade slicing down towards her first target. The flexible metal of its edge bent slightly as the blade impacted with the armoured exoskeleton of the Demon she fought. Then, with nothing to hold its purchase, the blade slid down the creature's spiked arm. Dropping into a crouch, Alita pulled her blade up to perry a blow from the creature's left claw.

"Why was I born?" Alita demanded, slamming her fist into the Demon's right leg. She somersaulted between its legs, placing a hard kick to its lower spine as she rolled. The creature turned, howling in pain as it swiped its right claw at her. Alita grabbed a hold of the claw and used its momentum to propel herself into the air.

I have tried to stray from the bloody path, but every time I find my way back. Is it Karma? Maybe Nova was right after all... those who do not overcome their Karma are controlled by it.

Focusing her Chi, Alita slammed her fist through the exoskeletal lens that protected the Demon's eye. White blood sprayed around her as Alita crushed the Demon's brain, covering her in white. White all around.

"Funny," Alita murmured as the creature died, "It doesn't feel the same anymore." Dripping white blood, Alita stood to face her next battle. Three Demons charged her at once, their low hisses turning blood-cold.

Flesh hands... killing with flesh hands... it feels strange. I can feel the oils of my skin mixing with the blood. I can feel the blood staining my skin. The hairs on my arm can sense when I strike. I feel as if.. as if I were born for this purpose.

One Demon fell, wounded by a kick. As she rounded on the next, its partner back-clawed her from the air. Alita smashed to the sandy ground, gritting her teeth in pain. The Demons stood over her, gloating over their victory. They raised their claws, ready to finish her off.

Alita sprang up, grabbing the nearest Demon by the neck and smashing her knee into its face. The creature's brain exploded as she leapt away.

How can I still be moving? I should be dead. A human's spine would have been shattered by that Demon's blow. But, I'm no longer human. I'm not Alita... I am a weapon of flesh. I'm not alive... not dead... I merely am. I do not understand how this can be so.

"If I defeat her... can I call her the imitation?"

Is that all that I am now? A killer doll, built to fight battles for someone else? I thought I had free will... I thought I was here to find Nikira... to help her... but that could all be an illusion! Is this what the ARs felt...? Did they believe that they were fighting their own battles? Did the AR units love Yugo and Ido too? Did they have time to love Figure?

Alita snapped around, slamming her elbow into another Demon as its claw flew over her head. She could feel part of its abdominal exoskeleton crack from the blow. Turning, Alita grabbed the Demon's left claw and pulled the massive creature into a throw. It hit the ground head first and lay stunned for a moment. Still holding its arm, Alita kicked, smashing her foot through the crack her Einzug Rüstungen had left in its abdomen. As it shrieked in pain, Alita slammed her blade into its mouth and through the Demon's brain.

Behind her, the Demon she'd kicked down earlier sprang forward. Alita spun and caught its claw strike with her blade.

Why do I fight on? Is fighting all I know? Does anything I do matter anymore? Do I have a mind of my own, or am I just a puppet? Does... does a copy have a soul?

"HELP ME!!" Alita screamed, slamming a double fisted punch into the Demon's chest. Her arms exploded out the back of its exoskeleton, a fountain of white blood spraying forth. Her head followed as she Demon fell forward. Shoving her arms apart, Alita tore out of the Demon's body. She was surrounded by white, immersed in it. As the Demon shuddered, sliding lifelessly to the ground, Alita stood. White blood ran slowly down her face, down her body. Slowly, Alita wiped the blood from her face... in two odd swan-headed striped under her eyes.

"Help me Ido... Yugo... Jashugan... String... Lee... Figure... Kaos... Konvar..." Alita whispered, "Help me, please. Tell me... tell me that I'm real. I don't want do fight anymore. I... I don't want to be alone anymore."

Gazing around the desert, Alita sighted three dead demons that she herself hadn't killed. The other two were gone... and so was Konvar. There was no sign of human blood... no red stains in the sand. He was merely gone.

"No... not again..."

Alita stood alone in the desert, tears slowly washing the blood from her face.

***

"Hmmm," Odanov murmured, "I had no idea Earth knew so much about our little operation here."

"You know nothing," Konvar spat, coughing. A faint trickle of blood ran from his mouth as Konvar struggled to break free of his bonds. However, the straps that held him down were much more than his body had the ability of breaking.

"I know that you are an agent from Earth, sent to investigate the recent quarantine," Odanov stated, "I know because of your friend out there. Only Earth has troops like that, and the only reason that Earth troops would be here is to investigate myself and the Minister."

"Smart little fuck," Konvar sneered, "ain't you?"

"You have no idea," Odanov sneered back, "But you will." Grinning sinisterly, the balding man walked over to one of the twenty large green tubes that lined the room. They were the only thing Konvar had gotten a good look at since regaining consciousness.

"Since you're obviously going to kill me," Konvar said after a moment, "Would you at least mind enlightening me as to what exactly the Demons are?"

"You mean the Krels," Odanov replied absently, "That's their official title; only the ilk in the Terra-Former colony call them Demons."

"Fine, the Krels," Konvar corrected himself, "What are they? Why did you create them?"

"Oh, I didn't create them," Odanov demurred, flashing Konvar another sinister grin, "I've merely studied them. As for what they are... lets call them Weaponry Components."

"Oh lord," Konvar murmured, "Not more literary references..."

"Just wait, spy," Odanov told him, flipping a few switches on the console next to one of the tubes. That tube filled itself with an odd and somewhat milky fluid. "Soon, you're gonna have more answers than you can handle." Pulling a hose-like device from the console, Odanov walked back over to where Konvar lay....

***

"Alpha Three to alpha One, please respond," a voice crackled over the inter-suit communication system, "We've sighted something strange about three klicks away."

"This is Alpha One," the woman replied into the inter-com, "What'cha got for me, Catori?"

"We've sighted seven dead Demons, and a survivor," Catori reported, "She hasn't spotted us yet, but she doesn't look hurt. Kinda out of it, though. She just standing there, crying. I don't know what to make of it."

"Someone killed seven Demons without a Hardsuit?" Alpha One asked, "maybe we could recruit her. What does she look like?"

"Um, kinda short," Catori began, "Raven black hair, cropped just above shoulder length. She's also armed with what looks like some kinda weird sword. One sided blade with holes going down the blunt side, set into a roughly rectangular handle that looks like it might fold over the blade."

"A Damascus," Alpha One murmured to herself."

"What was that, Nik?"

"Huh?" Alpha One asked, "Oh, never mind. Um, can you tell me what her face looks like?"

"Let me adjust my view..." Catori said, "There we are. She's got kinda puggy cheeks... a kind of weird pucker to her lips... and if she's open her eyes, I could tell you... wait... gold. Her eyes are almost honey-gold. I can't quite place her age, though."

"Hold there," Alpha One stated, "I'm on my way over. Do not engage, repeat, do not engage."

"Understood, Alpha One," Catori finished. The com signal clicked off a moment later.

"It couldn't be..." Nikira whispered, pushing her Hardsuit's flight system to maximum.

***

"Wipe the tears from your eyes
just leave, and forget me,
no need to be hurt anymore...

Go away from me now
I don't know 'What is love?'
no need to be hurt anymore

You said, "I miss you so much"
"Everynight thinking of you
and facing loneliness"

But when you feel sadness
never can I stay with you

I'm not the one you need
Close your eyes and forget me
There's nothing I can do anymore

I lost my way."

"That was very pretty Alita," a voice whispered, "I'm glad you remembered my song."

"I knew you'd find me," Alita replied, not looking up, "If I sang that song, I knew you'd come." In front of Alita, the locks on a red and black set of powered armour cycled open. The occupant stepped out, shaking out her spiky blonde hair as she moved. A golden chain hung from her neck, a piece of roughly cut black obsidian dangeling just above the cleavage that showed through her catsuit. The woman regarded Alita, trying to smile.

"You look terrible," Nikira said, making an attempt to laugh. The mirth died before it left her lips. An uncomfortable pause followed.

"I thought you were dead!" Nikira exclaimed, breaking the momentary silence, "How can you... its been more than five hundred years! I don't understand..."

Slowly, Alita lifted her head. Nikira took a slight step back, choking off her words. Alita's golden eyes rose to meet Nikira's own gray orbs. Their eyes locked, Alita spoke. "Alita died a long time ago," she told Nikira in a cold monotone, "I'm... not really her."

"Alita..." Nikira whispered, stepping forward.

"Help me, Nikira..." Alita choked, "Please..." Her legs crumpling, Alita fell forward into Nikira's arms. Holding her friend in her arms, Nikira reached into her pocket and pulled out a device resembling a cell-phone.

"Get a med unit up here, NOW!" Nikira barked into the communicator, "We've got a soldier down, repeat, soldier down! Move it!"

Flipping the phone closed, Nikira slowly squatted down, keeping Alita cradled in her lap. "You'll be okay," Nikira murmured, stroking Alita's face and hair.

She's flesh, Nikira observed, A clone? She said she wasn't real... it makes some kind of sense.

Nikira turned Alita's body, checking her for wounds. Some of the Demon blood that soaked her shirt had turned pink on her back; she was bleeding there. Nikira pulled the shirt up slightly to inspect the lacerations. It was partially closed off, with only a small area of the tear still open to the air.

No blood clotting.. but no more blood? What the hell...? Frowning, Nikira touched the cut. The capillaries... have closed off. How can... oh my god... she's...

"Oh, Alita..." Nikira whispered, holding Alita tightly to her breast, "what have they done to you?"

***

"Torn and weeping the reaper keeps calling me back,
to bloody my hands forever,
Gone from space I find lyrics of sorrow and pain,
but every time I sing,
blood streams from my jaw..."

Nikira paused in her singing for a moment, giving Alita's hand a light squeeze. "You'd think after a few hundred years, I'd stop covering other people's songs," Nikira murmured, "eh, Alita?" Alita's form stirred slightly. Slowly, her eyes flickered open.

"Where... what..." she managed.

"You're safe," Nikira assured her, "This is my base. We found you out in the desert, soaking wet with Demon blood, delirious, and half frozen. I mean, it may look like the Sahara desert out there, but it's colder than a deckman's dick come the evening."

"Nikira..." Alita murmured softly, "It's been a long time."

"I'll have Misato here get us some coffee," Nikira said jovially, signaling the lady guard at the door to get out, "Then we can catch up on old times in style."

"I though you were dead..." Alita murmured, "That cave-in... I though... and then when Marver told me you were here...."

"You've met my grandson, eh?" Nikira prompted, "Hope that little turd didn't try to smooth talk you. Though, if he did, I hope you have photos... I'd pay money to see that smack-down!"

"I need to tell you..." Alita began softly, "I'm not... I mean, I'm a fake... a-"

"You are my daughter," Nikira interjected, "By the laws concerning cross-cloning, anyway. But, no matter how your body was manufactured, you are still the Alita I knew. You are everything that made Alita who she was, so don't doubt yourself. As an old comrade of mine once put it, 'Don't doubt your own Soul.' Or something like that..."

"Huh?" Alita asked, "What do you mean... daughter?"

"I've taken some time to examine your new body," Nikira told her, "It's what people currently refer to as a Pure-Cross Cyborg. Basically, Alita, you have some of my DNA tacked onto your human genetic code. Not enough to turn your hair blonde or anything; just enough to give you a few bio-chemical improvements. Your nerves, bones, and muscles all contain metallic components now, at the cellular level.

"However, your brain is completely human," Nikira continued, "And moreover, it is an exact replica of the one you had five hundred years ago, right down to the cells that got killed when Mataku gave you that concussion. Marver must have hacked into my diary of our Tuned year together to get all the information necessary to duplicate you so perfectly."

"So.. so that's why I survived that Demon's attack..." Alita murmured, trying to process all the data Nikira had thrown at her. "And, legally, I'm the daughter of you and the original me?"

"Yup," Nikira said, grinning, "Though, if I'd decided to conceive a daughter with you, I would have left the genetics random and let the brain develop on its own. Unlike my grandson, I try not to play god."

"But... I'm still a fake.."

Nikira's arms shot out, grabbing Alita's shoulders. "Am I a fake too, Alita?" Nikira demanded harshly, "On a few occasions through out my life, I have downloaded my entire mind from one brain matrix to another. Does that make me a copy too? Does movement of mind erase a soul?"

"I.. I didn't know..." Alita murmured softly, "Its just... for so long, my brain was all I had. I... I think I understand Ido a little better now. It's one thing to find out that your friends have chips for brains... but finding out that your own mind is a copy... it just..."

"Ido, yeah!" Nikira prompted, "When you knew him, Ido had a chip for a brain. A copy of his mind. But, when you looked into his eyes, you could feel his soul looking back at you. Look at me, Alita! Do you see my soul? I can see yours. Believe in yourself, Alita. You are still you."

"Thank you..." Alita whispered, pulling Nikira into a hug. Nikira returned it, patting Alita's head lightly. After a long moment, they parted.

"You okay now?" Nikira asked. Alita nodded, flashing Nikira a feeble grin. "Good," Nikira stated, "Now lets get down to the good stuff. What are you doing on this piece of shit moon, other than my job?" Nikira added a wink to her last statement, grinning.

"Remember the Tuned?" Alita inquired, "Your grandson Marver is running a similar operation. He cloned me and sent me here to find out what's going on in Dis... and to keep you out of trouble."

"He's trying to keep me out of trouble, eh?" Nikira asked, "That's a laugh! He always was a bit of a dick... comes from being raised by the son of a politician, I guess. Same with his bad table manners and that whole abuse of power thing he seems so into."

"What about you," Alita asked, "What are you doing out here?"

Nikira paused, moving to the door. The guard, Misato, handed a tray with two coffees through to Nikira, then closed the door again. Nikira sat the tray on the table beside Alita's med-bunk where they could both reach it.

"I'm fighting a war," Nikira replied, sipping at her cup. Alita picked up her own, raising her eyebrows at Nikira's comment. Nikira grinned wickedly, then went on. "Minister Taskrel, who I'm sure Marver briefed you on, has discovered a creature under Dis. Till then, I was also part of the research team that was exploring the ruined alien city. He discovered the creature, and put forth a plan to study and experiment on it. I protested, since the thing was obviously dangerous and possibly some kind of biological weapon. So, he kicked me off the research team and replaced me with that little scum Odanov."

"When did you take up Archaeology?" Alita inquired.

"Remember that cave-in where we parted ways?" Nikira prompted, "I ended up in one of Kaos's dig sights. Well, it wasn't a dig sight then... but he dug me up a few years later."

"Huh!" Alita exclaimed, "I wonder if it was before or after he met me...?"

"Anyway," Nikira continued, "I picked up a few other people with a thing against Taskrel, formed them into a fighting force, and here we are."

"How many people do you have?" Alita asked.

"About a dozen, all trained in Hardsuit combat," Nikira stated proudly, "I call'em the Neo-Knight Sabers. And... I think my troops do the originals proud."

"I remember your stories about the original Sabers..." Alita murmured, "You were always good company on those long nights." There was a pause as both women sipped at their tea, fondly recalling the past they shared.

"I want to join the Neo-Sabers," Alita stated suddenly, "I want to help you fight."

"Yeah!" Nikira exclaimed, "I was worried about you there for a minute, Lita... it almost looked like you'd lost your fighting spirit."

"Not yet, Nika," Alita assured her friend, "Not until I get back at Taskrel for taking Konvar... was it yesterday?"

"Yeah, we found you at about eight in the evening," Nikira told her, "It's four in the morning now."

"Thanks," Alita said, nodding.

"Well," Nikira began, setting down her now empty tea cup, "if you're joining up, I guess I'd better fit you for a Hardsuit. If you're feeling up to it, we can get that done right now."

"Sure," Alita said, smiling.

***

"Not bad, if I do say so myself," Odanov said, admiring his handiwork. In the left most tube of his lab hung a body. The figure floating in the green solution was tall and well built, with long blond hair and deep blue eyes set deep into his face. The man's deeply tanned skin had a odd softness to it across his hands and face.

"So, Agent Konvar Rabiki," Odanov continued, "What do you think of my Weapons Components now?"

"This mind.. is not my own..." Konvar whispered from within the tube, "How can... I be having... these thoughts?"

"You're lucky," Odanov informed Konvar, "You appear to be reflection pattern. An interesting test subject, to say the least... I almost regret that I have to release you back into the wild. But, practicality always wins out over scientific curiosity."

"Why can't I move...?" Konvar asked, slowly.

"Because your soul has awoken," Odanov replied, "And your body is my tool. Congratulations, Mr. Ribiki... you are the first Soul to be joined with God!" Odanov laughed briefly, then returned to his work.